How to watch a horror movie the J-Man way

  1. Cover of "The Orphanage"
    Cover of The Orphanage

    Step 1: be home alone with the lights off.
    Step 2: drink two Scotch ales, minimum 8% abv
    Step 3: lock the door.
    Step 4: start the movie after 10pm
    Step 5: ensure that the door is in fact locked
    Step 6: spend the first act of the movie looking into the deeper meanings, symbolism and such.
    Step 7: lose the ability to do so sometime during the second act and start freaking out at every jump scare.
    Step 8: no seriously, did you lock the door?
    Step 9: grit your teeth and tough it out because you are going to sit there and get all the way through this movie, damn it.
    Step 10: watch every single trailer and clip you possibly can for Anchorman 2 in hopes of forgetting the last two hours of your life and actually getting some sleep.

    Side note: the Spanish horror flick The Orphanage is actually a really good movie. You should check it out. Using the above guidelines

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