Earlier this year, The Attebiz Himself and I each composed a list of what
we thought the top ten movies of the summer would be. You can find the
link to that article under “Summer Game” on the left side of this page if
you’d like to see what our predictions were.
But now the rubber has met the road, and who came out in the top ten?
This movie looked from the beginning like it was going to be lame, but
apparently people want to see somebody who has two decent movies in the
last ten years, a well-meaning but mostly unfunny guy, a stand up comic
who is incapable of making a good movie, somebody who was never funny
without Chris Farley and a guy who’s career highlight was shouting “YOU
CAN DO IT!” in Waterboy.
Clash of the Titans
This movie squandered potential, really. It looked so promising and had
so much going for it, but was really mediocre. I can only hope that the
inevitable sequel is better
This is an odd sort of remake. Different characters than the original,
different circumstances, different martial art (he learns kung fu, not
karate), but the movie bears the same name. Why, you ask? Because
without the name, I doubt that it would have done as well as it did. Just
How to Train Your Dragon
Seriously, watch this movie if you haven’t.
Looking back, I feel silly for not including this in my top ten list.
Celebrity voices talking funny, cute minions and fart jokes. Stupid humor
at it’s finest. Interesting note: this movie was made on a budget of
$69,000,000, which is pretty low for a major summer release.
Shrek Forever After
The fact that a movie this cerebral made this much money gives me hope for
mankind. Just a little bit.
Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Interesting note: this movie was made on a budget of $65,000,000. For
being the third movie in a ridiculously successful series, it is somewhat
interesting that Eclipse was made with such a (comparatively) small
budget. The fact of the matter is that Eclipse was going to make gobs of
money no matter how big the budget was. As such, the studio wisely spent
less money on production, and thus made more. I give the suits behind the
cinematic bastardization of vampires a tip of the cap and congratulate
Iron Man 2
Toy Story 3
My number 6-10 predictions were way off (I had Sorcerers Apprentice
beating Inception, and it made less than 25% of Inception’s box office
total), but my numbers 1-5 were nearly spot on. I had them in the right
order and just didn’t count on Inception or Despicable Me doing so well.
Also, for the hell of it, I present to you the two biggest flops of the
Prince of Persia:
The fact that this movie made $90,100,578 wouldn’t be so bad if the budget
wasn’t $200,000,000. Oops.
This movie was made with a budget of $47,000,000, which is pretty low for
a summer blockbuster. But even that seems like a risky budget when you
consider that nobody has heard of the graphic novel, or Josh Brolin
(talented though he is), and Megan Fox’s chest only has star power when
it’s juxstaposed against robots ripping each other’s heads off. Jonah Hex
opened to a meager $5,000,000 and limped it’s way to $10,539,414. It
didn’t help that the movie sucked.
For Attebiz Movie Reviews, I’m the J-Man.